6 weeks later....
What a couple of months it has been since my last blog! I will do my best to catch everyone up on Daniel's development as well as Baby Ward. And, later tonight, I'll upload some photos - I have a bunch. This blog will cover the drama of August and I'll pick up tomorrow with the last couple of weeks.
The end of July brought an alarming growth on the side of Daniel's nose. We noticed it when my parents were here visiting and immediately went through a line of doctor's trying to figure out what it was. Daniel had a CT scan the first week in August that was at the time, inconclusive. There were no red flags though, so surgery was scheduled for the 24th of August - three weeks later. Not good for this pregnant mama's emotional state. It was very tough. The doctor's visits and CT scans were very emotional for me. Scott kept saying he would worry when they told him to worry. Daniel learned to dislike anyone in a white jacket. The bloodwork we had done came back okay, so that made it possible for me to exhale a little bit.
Daniel and I took a getaway to FL to visit with Gramps and Gigi again in mid-August. I decided that I needed to fly alone with Daniel in a carseat before the baby is born. We love to go visit Gramps and Gigi, and I know that will not change with the next baby. So, I had to know that I could get myself on and off of the plane, have Daniel in the carseat the whole time, and transport the carseat, stroller, and backpack, as well as the 25 pound kid and my pregnant self through the Atlanta airport while making my connection. Success! I was absolutely worn out by the process, but the little man and I did just fine and we had a great visit. So, if Scott can't make it, Baby Ward, Daniel and I will make the trip again in the Spring. Hopefully, the flight attendants will be more sympathetic then.
Our trip was a lot of fun. Daniel had a great time at the beach digging and playing in the water. One of the great things about the Gulf of Mexico is normally, it is very calm and warm at the end of the summer. So, after a while, he was confident enough to run in and out. I think he even sat down in it! My son is not the type of kid to dive right in. He sits back, observes, tries, gives up, tries again, and then decides he likes it.
We came back from FL on Monday and had surgery on Friday. Driving to Children's Hospital at 5 a.m. that day, I couldn't help but think about the early morning after he was born that we waited for the ambulance to come and take him to Georgetown NICU. It was the scariest time of my life, and I had been a parent for less than twelve hours. The unknown is scary enough when it applies to you. When it is your child who is threatened, the uncertainty is paralyzing. Daniel had no idea where we were going. In fact, he kept saying "airplane" because when we flew to FL the week before, we had woken him up in the dark to be at the airport on time. Then, we saw the lights at Howard's stadium, and he said, "baseball!" because it reminded him of the Nats games. Oh, it broke my heart. And this was for outpatient surgery!
I refused to read anything online about cysts on the nose before the surgery. Because we were not sure if it was a dermoid or vascular growth, I really did not want to know what the worst case scenario was. Well, I already knew what it was, I just didn't need the medical term for it.
We got all checked in and put him in his hospital gown and socks and waited. The anesthesiologist came in and explained the risks to us (1% of patients die under anesthia) and then asked us if we wanted to go back and be with him while they put him under. Of course we did.
I was mentally prepared for the waiting with Daniel. I was mentally prepared for the waiting while the surgery was taking place. I was NOT mentally prepared for consoling my child while they hold a mask to his face and then watching his eyes roll back in his head as he went under the anesthesia. We walked out of that room and I completely lost it. As Scott said, "That was much more traumatic than I expected." It was awful.
About an hour later, they called us back to recovery. There was our little man, in his hospital gown and socks, still asleep. All I could do, other than tear up, of course, is thank God. Thank you for getting us through it. Thank you for my precious son. Thank you for these great doctors. Please let it be benign. Please let it be benign. We had sat in the waiting room with a family whose daughter, who looked about ten, was having brain surgery. Brain surgery. And here I am losing it over a bump on my son's nose. Thank you for not making it worse.
We took turns holding him in our laps, hooked up to an IV and snoring, for the next two hours while he woke up. I think the first thing he said when he came to was, "Daddy?" And then, "juice." An hour later, they checked us out. Two hours later, Daniel was running through the house sliding on the wood floors in his hospital socks saying, "I fast! I runned! I side (slide)!"
Scott and I were completely wiped. Daniel wanted to go to the "paygound (playground)." I think being the 22 month old in this scenario, even though he was the patient, had its benefits.
Sunday we left for vacation. It was perfectly timed. Daniel had three stitches that we could have removed while we were at the beach. The week was great. Being away from home in sunny, low 80's, across the street from the beach with a pool out back was just what the doctor ordered for the three of us. We came back Labor Day weekend and met with the surgeon that Tuesday to get the pathology report. Capillary Hemangioma. This is the same term used for those strawberry birthmarks kids get. The blood vessel starts to grow off of the skin - only Daniel's was internal and collagen had hardened around it to make it feel solid and retain the color of his skin.
I exhaled. Again. And Again.
The end of July brought an alarming growth on the side of Daniel's nose. We noticed it when my parents were here visiting and immediately went through a line of doctor's trying to figure out what it was. Daniel had a CT scan the first week in August that was at the time, inconclusive. There were no red flags though, so surgery was scheduled for the 24th of August - three weeks later. Not good for this pregnant mama's emotional state. It was very tough. The doctor's visits and CT scans were very emotional for me. Scott kept saying he would worry when they told him to worry. Daniel learned to dislike anyone in a white jacket. The bloodwork we had done came back okay, so that made it possible for me to exhale a little bit.
Daniel and I took a getaway to FL to visit with Gramps and Gigi again in mid-August. I decided that I needed to fly alone with Daniel in a carseat before the baby is born. We love to go visit Gramps and Gigi, and I know that will not change with the next baby. So, I had to know that I could get myself on and off of the plane, have Daniel in the carseat the whole time, and transport the carseat, stroller, and backpack, as well as the 25 pound kid and my pregnant self through the Atlanta airport while making my connection. Success! I was absolutely worn out by the process, but the little man and I did just fine and we had a great visit. So, if Scott can't make it, Baby Ward, Daniel and I will make the trip again in the Spring. Hopefully, the flight attendants will be more sympathetic then.
Our trip was a lot of fun. Daniel had a great time at the beach digging and playing in the water. One of the great things about the Gulf of Mexico is normally, it is very calm and warm at the end of the summer. So, after a while, he was confident enough to run in and out. I think he even sat down in it! My son is not the type of kid to dive right in. He sits back, observes, tries, gives up, tries again, and then decides he likes it.
We came back from FL on Monday and had surgery on Friday. Driving to Children's Hospital at 5 a.m. that day, I couldn't help but think about the early morning after he was born that we waited for the ambulance to come and take him to Georgetown NICU. It was the scariest time of my life, and I had been a parent for less than twelve hours. The unknown is scary enough when it applies to you. When it is your child who is threatened, the uncertainty is paralyzing. Daniel had no idea where we were going. In fact, he kept saying "airplane" because when we flew to FL the week before, we had woken him up in the dark to be at the airport on time. Then, we saw the lights at Howard's stadium, and he said, "baseball!" because it reminded him of the Nats games. Oh, it broke my heart. And this was for outpatient surgery!
I refused to read anything online about cysts on the nose before the surgery. Because we were not sure if it was a dermoid or vascular growth, I really did not want to know what the worst case scenario was. Well, I already knew what it was, I just didn't need the medical term for it.
We got all checked in and put him in his hospital gown and socks and waited. The anesthesiologist came in and explained the risks to us (1% of patients die under anesthia) and then asked us if we wanted to go back and be with him while they put him under. Of course we did.
I was mentally prepared for the waiting with Daniel. I was mentally prepared for the waiting while the surgery was taking place. I was NOT mentally prepared for consoling my child while they hold a mask to his face and then watching his eyes roll back in his head as he went under the anesthesia. We walked out of that room and I completely lost it. As Scott said, "That was much more traumatic than I expected." It was awful.
About an hour later, they called us back to recovery. There was our little man, in his hospital gown and socks, still asleep. All I could do, other than tear up, of course, is thank God. Thank you for getting us through it. Thank you for my precious son. Thank you for these great doctors. Please let it be benign. Please let it be benign. We had sat in the waiting room with a family whose daughter, who looked about ten, was having brain surgery. Brain surgery. And here I am losing it over a bump on my son's nose. Thank you for not making it worse.
We took turns holding him in our laps, hooked up to an IV and snoring, for the next two hours while he woke up. I think the first thing he said when he came to was, "Daddy?" And then, "juice." An hour later, they checked us out. Two hours later, Daniel was running through the house sliding on the wood floors in his hospital socks saying, "I fast! I runned! I side (slide)!"
Scott and I were completely wiped. Daniel wanted to go to the "paygound (playground)." I think being the 22 month old in this scenario, even though he was the patient, had its benefits.
Sunday we left for vacation. It was perfectly timed. Daniel had three stitches that we could have removed while we were at the beach. The week was great. Being away from home in sunny, low 80's, across the street from the beach with a pool out back was just what the doctor ordered for the three of us. We came back Labor Day weekend and met with the surgeon that Tuesday to get the pathology report. Capillary Hemangioma. This is the same term used for those strawberry birthmarks kids get. The blood vessel starts to grow off of the skin - only Daniel's was internal and collagen had hardened around it to make it feel solid and retain the color of his skin.
I exhaled. Again. And Again.
posted by SEDW @ 3:13 PM
2 Comments:
Warning: Pregnant ladies should not read this post at work... I am still crying.
I am so thankful everything turned out ok. What an emotional rollercoster. I am so thankful that he is just too little to really realize all that he has been through.
I wish we could just let go those feelings of fear and just go play when times are hard. We would be better off! I am sure of that.
Love you, and that little man too.
This was beautiful - and beautifully written. It's good you put it down and out there. I'm so glad he's so resilient! and that you are as well. You are strong - and you are a wonderful mother.
I love you guys!
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