Dear Big Girl

That's what we call you quite often - "big girl."

You are not big at all. Cute, pudgy, perfect. But, not really that big. Right on schedule, I'd say. And, as a female, I have no idea why I'd begin to call my precious daughter "big" - but I did, and now your brother calls you that, too. "Hey big girl, did you have a good nap?"

I also call you "sweetie peetie." "You're my sweetie peetie!" I tell you that at least once every day.

Elizabeth, you are six months old. I honestly do not know where the time has gone, and all I want to do is get it back. I want you to be a little round lump who curls up next to me as you nurse and sounds like a kitty when you cry. I want the skin to hang off our your little legs like it did the day we brought you home, and I want to worry about your platelet count, even though I don't need to anymore.

But no, you are rolling both ways; squealing with delight; cracking up when we use silly voices; almost sitting up; taking your pacifier out of your mouth and putting it back in; bouncing in your exersaucer and johnny jumper; nibbling on your toes; cooing; turned forward in the bjorn; grabbing utensils out of our hands; growing out of your clothes -- and I am crying because of it. I am so proud of you, but so sad because I'm learning, again, that this time is flying by, and I can't have it back. (And, I don't record nearly enough on the camcorder.)

Pure joy. That is what you are to all of us - Daddy, Daniel, me, all of your grandparents, aunts, and uncles. We all smile brighter because you are here with us.

I could never adequately explain the emotion I have for you and your brother other than to say that my life had no where near the meaning it has now that I share it with you. You make me more optimistic. You make me more thoughtful and more deliberate. I savor our moments together, even if it is 3 a.m. and you are hungry.

You have so much ahead of you in the upcoming weeks- food in just a couple of days, crawling, pulling up, jabbering, walking, and giving Daniel a run for his money. And, I'll be right there with you to help, and clap, and cheer... and cry.